Last Night I Had the Strangest Dream….

October 11, 2009 2

Imagine you’re a bit younger than you are now. It’s somewhere in the mid 1980s or maybe 1990s. A friend comes up to you and says, “Last night I had the strangest dream!”

“First, this total party guy, coke-head, alcoholic guy, becomes President. Of the United States! Actually, he’s the son of the head of the CIA! I forgot that part. So, he becomes president, for like… EIGHT Years! But he doesn’t actually win the election, but the Supreme Court wants him to be President, so they make him President!”

“Wait, that’s not all. Then, then… Then the World Trade Center – you know, the World Trade Center? The really tall buildings in New York City? First, an airplane, a big airplane files into two of them and there’s a big explosion. But they’re just standing there, and there’s a lot of fire and smoke, but just at the top. And then, all of a sudden, they fall down. No, I mean, they don’t fall OVER, they fall Straight Down, just WHOOOSH! Straight down into, like, a hole, and just disappear. No, they don’t disappear, they turn to dust! That’s right… they turn to dust. Just turn to dust, and everybody’s covered with dust for like, weeks! Weeks, they’re just covered with dust. And another building right nearby does the same thing. Straight down, like as fast as if you threw an apple out a window. Just WHOOSH.”

“And then – that’s not it! Then Arnold Schwarzenegger. Right, the actor. Right…from Predator! Right! Right, he becomes Governor of California! No, I’m not kidding! I KNOW!!! Right, he becomes Governor of California, and on the news they call him – are you ready? The Governator!!! And they’re not even kidding. And everybody says it. And he’s Governor of California!”

“And then. No, there’s more. I know! It was a crazy crazy craziest dream I ever had. And then, then…. what happened then. Then the US Army invaded all these Middle Eastern countries, and killed like a million, like a million people, but no one in America ever talked about it. Like it wasn’t happening. It was just bizarre.”

“And then… what happened… Right. The banks, no.. the whole Economy just like, died. Like exploded or failed or something… and all the taxpayers had to pay for it, even though the guys who ran the companies got these huge bonuses. Like huge, like 200 million dollars a piece. Like that. But the taxpayers had to pay for it, and everybody was sort of talking about it, but everybody just went along with it.”

“I KNOW!!! I know, totally crazy. I know, that would never NEVER happen.”

“And then… what happened then…. And then. I can’t remember…Oh! Right, the Government is like, watching all of this, and doing nothing, or not worrying about it. And the only thing the Government is worried about is making sure that nobody ever gets the Flu ever again!”

“I KNOW!!! Totally crazy, crazy, CRAZY dream. Totally. I mean… that could NEVER happen.”