by Liam Scheff
Do you stop yourself from writing complete, unabbreviated words, even when using a full-sized keyboard? If so, you may be unintentionally making yourself less intelligent.
Do you find that you forget words that you are certain you used to know? It’s because you don’t use them anymore. You’ve ceased. Stopped. You don’t try. You don’t search for synonyms, or struggle to find the best-feeling, sounding descriptor for a feeling.
Do you use this word in conversation? “Lol.” Do you mean a lull? No, you mean – it’s funny. Is it hard to say, “funny?” That’s funny! Funny. How funny! Amusing. Clever! It is to laugh! Hilarious! Rib-tickling. Ridiculous! Oh, that makes me laugh! Comedic! Comical! So very, very amusing.
Your. You’re. Something you possess. Something you are about to do or be. Please, please learn the difference.
Apostrophe “S.” As in: ‘s. This is not how to form a plural. Thing’s is not more than one thing. It indicates that something is the property of “thing,” as in, “Thing’s vibrator was set to stun.” On the other hand, “Things are not working out for Thing, as his vibrator was set to stun,” indicates first that many events in Thing’s life are not going well, and that his vibrator is probably shocking him.
I’ll leave you to ponder the life of this unfortunate person – or thing – named “Thing.” But, please don’t use apostrophes to form plurals. Please.
What if you had to use words and sentences again. You know, there are people who can’t. Who can’t speak. Who’ve had strokes. Who are mute. Why are so many of us making ourselves so much less than we are?
Do you believe language has value? I do. I know that makes me strange in America.