What does human nature say about relationships? About monogamy, marriage, coupling, partnering, sex, romance and fidelity? They relate in surprising but logical ways to our ancient history.
Our relationship structure changed radically 10,000 years ago during the dawn of agriculture. Before this, we had a quarter million years of being tribal nomads, moving with the seasons, and belonging to a tribe, not a “nuclear” pod. We paired loosely, formed a variety of short and long term, non-exclusive relationships, and found our identity in our larger group dynamic. The idea of “life-long married sexual monogamy” was not a blip on the (non-existent) radar.
But 10,000 years ago, we plunked down in one place, bound the woman to the house, the house the to King, and we began to inhabit a new and rather uncomfortable dynamic.
And here’s the semi-fictional version:
In the new novel by Liam Scheff, “The Truth About Love,” you’re invited into a world that you’ll immediately recognize. In this fictionalized but semi-autobiographical account, we discover that true romance does not require exotic vacations, expensive hotel rooms, or movie-star looks or lines. It occurs without warning, at work, in cars and subways, in elevators and on bridges, at bars and parties, in apartments and on walks and talks with friends and lovers.
And here’s the real life version: