Notes from the Non-Monogamous

by Liam.

America. You are one fucked-up bunch of assholes. And it is both your fault, and not. It is your cultural inheritance, and the only way to change that is intentionally.

But don’t take my word for it. Please enjoy this beautiful documentary about a distant somewhere else. Find enclosed notes from a matrilineal, matriarchal, non-sexually exclusive, non-monogamous, non-shaming, non-Jewish-Muslim-Christian (whew!), non-jealousy-employing society.

This Chinese open-spirited documentary, called “Tisese,” (pronounced “Tea-Say-Say”) shows Mosuo life as it is, with little commentary from the filmmaker. The people speak for themselves, and they do so with such beauty, you want to punch everyone you meet in America for being so fucking boring, shallow and stupid. Seriously. Grow up, America. Tired of your shit.

(Note: The Mosuo call themselves the “Na” people.)

Tisese – the word for ‘walking back and forth,’ indicates a style of sexual partnering that allows freedom, and is not bound by government or church. Romantic relationships are sought for desire’s sake. Familial relationships with one’s household are obligations – to produce and bring water, food, clothing, tools, crafts, etc. But in the romantic life, one is free.

We meet a grand-mother. She explains: Small family is very stressful; two people have to do all the work. Large families are best; everyone shares the work.

Regarding sexuality: if a young person finds a partner; it is okay. If not, it is okay. “No one objects.”

We see that loom-weaving and other village traditions fading because more and more is bought from the outside – the wal*mart effect. Tourism is replacing all other work.

• At 10 minutes the woman says, if she is addressed as anyone’s wife, she feels very uneasy. Why should she be anyone’s property?

• Men and women sing toward each other when they work.

• “Judge a woman not by her face but by her heart,” a saying in their culture.

• The younger woman says: Why would you want to live in a little house – it’s like a pigeon cage – so uncomfortable!

• An elder Na (mosuo) father says that his daughter married a Han Chinese male; the Han family offered him money as part of their tradition. He said no. “I will not sell my daughter. If she wishes to live with you, she can, but my daughter is always my daughter.” He continues. “In this market economy, everything is for sale, everything becomes a commodity.” We should not allow this, he says. “We should maintain human harmony. i am part of you; you are part of me.”

This is just a normal Na (Mosuo) man. Not a feminist scholar. Not a leading writer. Just a normal, sane, well-adjusted male in a culture that doesn’t torture both men and women by binding them into genital-owning relationships, fractured only by divorce, and kept together by jealousy and fear of failure.

They all work together to raise children. They all work in their households to make life work.

And we’re the ‘advanced’ ones…

Please watch, learn and emulate. I’ll work on a transcription – or on finding one online. Post it if you do.

Youtube Link:


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