I’m not a great fan of the condom, not because I’ve never used one (I have), but because I think people use them more for a feeling psychological security than any physical ‘protection’ they confer. I suppose I feel that if you’re ready to have intercourse – then why not have the whole experience?
I think people feel compelled to use condoms because they are rushing. Many people move too quickly into penetrative sex. We’re not shown the thousand shades and hues of color that exist in intimacy – we’re urged to just ‘get it on.’ As though pumping were the only thing a man and woman can do together.
It’s the rush to achieve ‘the act’ that drives people into grabbing penis plastic wrap. But, I don’t believe it’s for real. It is my experience – and count this as a loose data-collecting exercise for decades – that while many (or most) new couples may start with a condom, they’ll happily go without when round two, three or four comes around. Real intimacy demands real contact, and I think a great many people give into the natural urge despite the decades of propaganda about ‘safer with latex.’
I think people rush to use condoms because they’re not having sex with the person in front of them; they’re having sex with a body. They haven’t taken the necessary time to really know the psyche – there is a lack of trust due to the shallowness of our of communication. And we cover up our genitals, even as we penetrate each other, so as to convince ourselves that we’re still ‘sanitized.’
I understand that a prophylactic may be required at times to prevent pregnancy, or during an outbreak of, say, herpes – but when not avoiding an active STD, or dealing with a premature spurter, why are we brow-beaten into coating ourselves in latex? (It’s a terrible chemical allergen, after all).
We’re missing all our threshold passages. We go to the lab ‘priest’ to hear if we’re safe to have sex with – because we don’t listen to or know our own bodies.
We cover our genitals in latex and poison fluid because we have no concept of when women are ovulating, or even, as men, how to control or reduce the immediacy of our excited spurting.
We detach from the process of birth through unnecessary and damaging C-sections (as my doula friends have told me);
Similarly, we feed dried chemical formula to human babies instead of letting them press their mouths to the over-flowing breast that is made for them.
And we consider ourselves ‘bad’ or ‘anti-science’ if we argue against any of these poor substitutes for the real thing.
We’re busy worshiping the products of petroleum – instead of the human experience. It’s synthetic, and leaves us cool and unsatisfied.
And if I say that it’s all one of the Official Stories, well, it must mean that we’re not remotely honest with ourselves about our desire for intimacy.