Judeo-Christianity-Islam vs. Taoism

Judeo-Christianity-Islam: You are the subject slave of Gods.

Taoism: You are the universe pretending to be you.


1. Directs you to believe that a vengeful murderous mountain deity (Yahweh/Jehovah) promised a very specific group of desert-dwelling people at a specific point in time that they were “chosen” among all humans by him to receive some desert real estate….eventually.

2. And so, said deity challenged them to worship only him and no other gods. He even pushed out the other gods he’d grown up with, like Ba’al and Molech, and one that used to be his girlfriend, Ashera. When the “chosen” people didn’t “choose” correctly, Yahweh pushed them into slavery and war, over and over again, and let them rot and die.

This was the first “covenant.”

3. A new “covenant” was formed when the mountain deity (Yahweh, again) impregnated (or didn’t, depending on which “gospel” you believe) a “virgin” (or not, depending on whether you accept a mistranslation of “young woman” to “virgin” as “gospel truth”), and she gave birth to a magical jew, who was known far and wide, who did varieties of miracles to great renown – but about whom no historian wrote a single bleeding word during his lifetime or for an entire lifetime following.

4. This new ‘savior’ didn’t actually save anyone, and his messages were deeply confusing and contradictory; sometimes inciting violence, sometimes rejecting it; sometimes preaching tolerance, but also rejecting those not of his tribe.

5. He does miracles:

• He unblinded a very old man whom the story tells us was only blinded from birth by “God” so that one day a savior could come along and unblind him.

• He thinks people have to pay taxes, but he doesn’t really want to, so he has a fish swim up with a gold coin in its mouth to pay taxes with.

• He can walk on water and transmute elements, making one molecule into another, and he can fly around with a ‘devil’ who wants to tempt him with titles and real estate; but for some reason, he can’t escape a mob of Jews who just a second ago loved him, but now don’t; or the Romans who don’t actually want to crucify him – but do because the Jews who loved him, well, for purposes of the story, now don’t, and… anyway.

• Although he can transmute elements – water into wine, water into solids (to walk on it), he doesn’t bother to transmute the cross into water, or the nails into water, which you figure he could do – master transmuter of elements and God that he is.

• He dies, and then comes back, and pops all around the area, being seen everywhere at once – as though he got a new superpower after dying – warp-speed travel – or holographic projection – or well…perhaps a powerful Expecto Patronum spell. Or maybe he used the “Time Travel Cloak.” I don’t know. Or a “Cloak of invisibility!”

6. And now we wait till he comes back. And kills everyone, almost, and puts Satan in jail for 1,000 years. But not a day longer!


1. We all emerge from the eternal mind and soul that is all things and makes all things.

2. When the eternal and infinite manifests as our ‘reality,’ it divides into the expansive – Yin – and contractive – yang – forces of the universe, that make all things.

3. We are manifestations of the one infinity, but all of us are unique in our manifestation, all containing elements of the “Yin” and the “Yang.”

4. We participate in the dance of energy in the manifested state, the eternal Tao experiencing itself as us and as all life, until we return to the infinity from which we were expressed.

So… Once again.

Christianity: You are the subject slave of Gods.

Taoism: You are the universe pretending to be you.


Liam Scheff is author of “Official Stories,” because official stories exist to protect officials. He is currently working on his new book(s) all about sex, religion and peak oil!



  1. Hey, at least it inspired some really great art….
    Fear can get people to do incredible things.

  2. Neo-Taoist more or less describes my philosophical/metaphysical framework so I welcome this installment of the Schiff journey. You might check out “The Drunken Taoist” podcast. Speaking of which – what happened to your podcast? Pod-fade is such a sad internet affliction………..oh well.

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